Dear Lord.

Ohhh these past few weeks... when I contemplate about yesteryear, the one that pops into my head is "Dear Lord". I may not live in my deepest prayer or in any movie I'm dying to be part of, but I'm not asking for more except my loved ones. It's a dreadful journey to my inner-peace, it seems like I'm tantalizing myself. To move out and live days without knowing where to lay this bones tomorrow, to awake and see that this exact day is the only certainty i've got, it's poisoning the neurons of my brain. I can't think, my vision blurry.

Many curses has come from this mouth, yet I'm very aware of my tongue. Just as complimentary subjects, regrets comes last.

Like many others, I've been up and down, I've been on the podium, I've been a trash, and other contradictive pairs. Nevertheless, when I pray, I pray hard. So I can enjoy the remaining days that God has given me, so I can feel the warmth of the shining sun after big-dark-stormy clouds, so i hear bees whispering with its' wings after heavy rain. And in the end of the day, I hope it's not just me and myself, it's 'us'. Us is referring to my family, loved ones, especially my mom. I just have to be there with her, gotta be with her.

If i have to go back and forth JTB-YK every weekend, I'd do it. I'd rather losing money and energy than losing time. Some people may not get it, and that's okay. What i mean by this writing is, you've done enough and you'll be okay. The future will always be unsure, the present is to be survived gratefully, joyfully, and the past was 'oh that happened!'